Progress: 8 days Post Op

Started Journey 6/2013 at 286 lb
Surgery Day 11/26/2013 at 256 lb
Current to date 12/04/2013 249

• Short of breath
• Dizziness
• tummy aches
• fatigue
• body pain 

Weight Loss Surgery and the Media

Weight Loss surgery if often view as the “cheat surgery” by the media and the “healthy” public. People with the surgery are force to lie, because other people view them as weak, or cheaters. Is it cheating, if you have a heart condition and they have to create another means for your blood to travel thorough your body?

Most people that get the WLS are sick, with diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep-apnea, have limited mobility, and basically are dying little by little. So tell me how is that so different than treating cancer or a heart problem?

 However that's not the real issue. The real issue are all this reality TV shows showing people that are severely obese, and all their health problems, using WLS s a last result. Yes they show how the surgery is done, and what it does to the body. However, they fail to communicate to the public the process to get there. They always present the patient 4 months later, and how much they lost with the surgery. The fat doesn't just melts away. That gives an impression of the weight being lost as a breeze and effortless. They don't show the diet, the rigorous plant, the exercise, and the pain, and several medical issues that happens with the surgery. I have several friends that had the WLS. They are all succes stories. However they have a journey to get there. They have countless sleepless nights, dealing with pain, and fear of they might die. 

It is day 8 since I had surgery and I might of have one good night sleep. I been bloated, in pain, sick, I cant take showers on my own because of fear I'm going to pass out because I'm so weak. My legs are bruised and my arms too from the compression socks and the IVs. I haven't leave my house in 7 days because every time I get up i get short of breath and dizzy. No worries, because apparently it happens to almost everyone that gets the surgery. Plus, I have anemia. Lets not mention that 9/10 people will need cosmetic surgery to remove the excess skin from their bodies, because it might cause rashes, and infections. 

 Also for me, because every surgeon is different, I have 7 days of  all liquids, and protein shakes, then I go to stage 2: where I eat soft foods, including tuna, chicken, but mushed. Then after seven weeks of that diet, I start regular food. Never being able to eat sweets, alcohol, and high fat contents again. I have to take vitamins for the rest of my life, other wise i can get malnourished. 

When I started this journey in June 3013, I weighted 286 pounds, Before the surgery on November 26, 2013 I weighted 256. Today 12/4/2013 I weight 249 and going down. I am very glad I did this, even thou i question my decision every day, because I just miss the food. But I am doing something for my health and I don't feel like I have cheated, nor took the easy way out. No sir... I am earning every single pound I loose with pain and sacrifice. 

Not every body got bless with an awesome metabolism or a healthy heart, That is why, doctors and researches work so hard to investigate new methods  to make us healthier.  And if working hard to loose wight, be in constant pain, and not being able to eat what you want, its cheating? We need to redefine the word succes then.....

Day 15/ Surgery's Eve

Day 15 of the partial liquid diet, and the day before of the surgery. This, has been the longest 15 days of my life. I been cranky and mean to almost every one, including the dog. But I made it, I made a couple of cheats like eating pickles, sugar free Popsicles and the worst one I had two pieces of milk chocolate. I lost 6 more pounds with the diet. I am ready to get this surgery done. I am excited and terrified because i know all the risks involved but I have confident in God and my surgeon and I will be OK. I really thank my boyfriend for keeping up with all the mean that I gave him. So lets do this. I am 258 pounds now, Onward to 150! 

DAY 3: Partial Liquid diet

Day 3:

Well it is not so bad.  I feel,  thin.  HUNGRY though. The protein drinks, are good in taste. I have to drink it on time. Exactly two hours later I feel hungry, therefore i made alarms in my phone so I don't miss my shakes. At night 4 oz of lean chicken feels like a lot, it fills me out. I eat it with two cups of non-starchy veggies.  However, after i get full, in two hours at 7:30 pm I feel like I am starving. So I drink my water then, until I do to bed. But then I am waking up several times at night to use the bathroom. I feel dizzy, cranky, and tired. I had to take a medical leave from school because I didn't feel alert at school. But I still think is not so bad, its like breaking some kind of addiction. I just need to be isolated so I don't get temptation from people eating around me. Once I learn to control my urges, It will be better. I need lots of encouragement, and I think I have enough.

Last night I was awake in the side of the bed for around 2 hours, just randomly thinking about things. At one point I was questioning myself, is this really worth it? Of course it is. Being healthy means living longer and being able to wear a bathing suit once again ;) .

For water too, I drink some sobe 0 calorie drinks, power zero, and some sugar free popsicles. The sugar free popsicles are my savior. When ever i want something crunchy, or sweet, I grab one of those and it ease all those cravings at once. With no sugar, and barely any calories.

I am wondering if I will loose any weight or inches with this. at the end of the two weeks.

Pre-op Diet

I am 7 days away from my partial liquid diet and  21 days away from surgery. My surgery date is November 26, 2013.In the mean time, I am struggling with the Cpap machine. It is getting a little longer to get used to using a mask to sleep at night. Also my mouth gets very dry, but I called my supplier and I think I found a solution ( a chin strap) hopefully when it arrives it helps me get an actually good night sleep.

Anyways my pre-op partial liquid diet starts in 11/12 the day after my pre-op visit. The diet consist of two weeks of mostly liquids as follow: Glucose Controlled Boost or Ensure High Protein shake drinks
8am shake
10am shake
noon shake
2pm shake
5pm meal ( 4-5 oz of lean meat and 1-2 cups of fresh non starchy vegetable
bedtime shake
and 64oz of water, which i think is going to be the hardest thing to do.

I have lost a total of 25 pounds since i started this journey. And this is just the beginning. I mostly struggle with energy and finding fighting cravings. Now only 21 more day for my new life to start.

Fight

I understand now why so many of you want your op private and don't tell everyone. I told everyone and I even have a blog for it, but know I find myself defending my decision at every turn. People are not well inform about this surgery and they have so many misconceptions and thoughts behind it. It's like a battle for me now. People keep saying to me "you don't need it" or "you can die" or why don't you just do this and that. I'm getting a little sick of it, defending this has become my work. Even some of my relative have turn against me. "If you lost 25 pounds on your own you can so more" they have no idea what really goes into this, they have no idea why are we doing this, they are clueless on why we NEED this. But as long as I know, I guess I can keep fighting and eventually win my own battle. If it were so easy don't you think I would of been skinny already!? I mean how hard is to go and find information before you go judging a person.


UPDATE:
I also got my Cpap machine yesterday. I tried it out for 5 hours last night but I couldn't fall asleep. I took it off, fell asleep, woke up and used it for a few hours before waking up completely   I am hoping tonight its a better night and that I am getting used to it. 

Why do I love myself?

Why do I love myself?

Because.....

I always pick myself up when I fall down.

When I cry, I can wipe my own tears.

My children can look up to me.

I never give up trying.

When I want something I am determined to get it.

I know when to get help.

I know that is OK to cry, even for small things, because it shows that I am human.

I learn fast.

I am doing things to better my life, physically and mentally.

I know what my limits are. 

When I don't like something, I simply stop doing it.

I realize there is no point on doing something you hate, its bad for my health. 

When everyone is focused on striving and being better than others, I focused on making myself happy and being myself. 

I accept others as they are.

I listen to my children

I give second chances, sometimes thirds.

I don't allow other to put me down anymore.

I am smart.

I love life even thou sometimes I feel like mine is not so great.

When I think its over, I find a reason to continue.

I trust until someone betrays me.

I have lovely cheeks.

I have try many things and learned them well. 

I am organize when i need to be. 

I observe and sense people’s feelings.

I can make time for others even if its just one text. 

I can hide pain and dislikes behind my smile, but just so I don't hurt any ones feelings.

I take others feelings into consideration. 

New Facebook Book

I created a facebook group with the idea that We can share our accomplishments, pictures, stories anything about of surgeries. Everyone that is thinking of having the weight loss surgery is welcome to come join us, and share your story and your accomplishments.

The group is secret so you can't search it nor see it unless you are a member. Therefore you will have to send me a message with your email, so I can invite you to the group. The invite will be sent via email and then you will be able to join the group. No one can see your postings unless they are in the group. 

You can also post your email and I will send you and invite.

Surgery DATE...?

I started a new job at a hospital, Been there a couple of weeks, and I love it. I can see myself doing it for a long time even retiring from it. I also been working on my surgery requirements since June. Today at work I received a call from the surgeon's office. They want to schedule my appointment for November 26th. Two days before Thanksgiving. I am very happy. However, I either get the surgery and loose my job or keep the surgery and don't do the surgery.  I am a temporary employee. They need me for the holidays. Chance are that of course If they need to downsize or anything , I am the first one to go. However all the other temps in the department had really good luck and have now even permanent positions. My dilema is, I can either just work until my surgery, leave and when I am all well try to apply again or forget about the surgery for a while. But then again is my health right. Me not having serious medical problems and not being severely obese is a priority right.. I am very sad, but I guess I will work until I cant work no more, and continue with my surgery arrangements. There are plenty of other jobs out there, and only one of me.  So I have to take care of my body, before I can take care of anyone else. So yes, November 26th it is. =)  By the way, so far I lost 16 pounds!

SLEEP APNEA.... CPAP Machine

I went to test the Cpap Machine, and it wasn't too bad.  I actually slept good. Beside all the cords hanging from my body and the mask in my nose, I slept like a baby.  I was actually well rested, but them I got home and slept the next day and and back to feeling tired. I think my doctor supposed to prescribe me a machine to use until I loose all this weight. ... Supposedly getting more oxygen at night and a better sleep is going to help me lose the weight faster so I don't become sepsis. 

Surgery Date coming soon!!!

I went to the second appointment yesterday. It went great. I was complimented on how I fast I got everything done. They have never seen anyone move so quick on the process and achieve so much in so little time. I am very proud of myself.  I had a list to complete and I did all of it:

• Attend a information meeting
• Attend a Support group
• Get a letter of medical necessity
• Get a sleep study
• Get psychiatric clearance
• EKG
• Loose 10% of my target weight
• Complete a food journal
• Get blood work done
• Get nutrition class

It seems like not a lot but to get people moving you got to e persistent other wise they will take their time, sometimes they are just busy but if you really interested and really want this they will see it and help you out along the way. I am looking at a October date or early November. Two weeks before I start a liquid diet then  a week before surgery I am getting a colonoscopy and a endoscopy. Then I start my new life.

Pounds off, go away!!!

Since The end of June I decided after many month of research to submit myself to gastric bypass. It's been two months since I started this journey, I have undergo many test and I am almost ready for that surgery. I am hoping for a November date or late October. I been trying to do my best at eating "healthish" and  working out ;) proportioning my food and keeping a food journal. It's working! 2 months, 13 pounds off. When I get the surgery 13 pounds won't take me two months lol, but this are my 13 hard earn pounds off and I'm celebrating them. Now I am at 273!!! Yay!!!! They don't seem like much to some but for me it's glorious. I have tried so many diets but they don't work! So many pills and nothing, what really works its changing how you eat, not what you eat. Less is more. Small portions tru the whole days still enjoying food. Making healthier choices and sticking to a realistic calorie goal, and lots of protein!  

So I start my day with a small workout, nothing sick, specially because my back hurts a lot and I have arthritis. Maybe dance alone, do a little bit of crunches and some walking around the room to music as fast as you can( don't over do it) because its not going to do u any good if you are to tired or hurt! 

Then, I drink my breakfast shake I add cup of frozen fruit, 1 cup of 2% milk or almond milk, whatever I go there because I'm on a strick budget and healthy is always more expensive, and add a scoop of a protein powder. I used advance super whey. This if very filling but you have to sip little by little probably takes you 30 minutes or more to drink it because its thick! But guess what, you probably will be full until lunch, if you not, have a 100 calorie snack in between. If I'm feeling hungry I grab one of those smart food white cheddar popcorn! Yum. 

Then have a lunch, anything you want try to stay within 400 calories or less 400 is a lot! Yesterday I made chicken chilli, it was the bomb! If you on the road believe or not u can go to McDonald's get 1 cheese burger from the dollar menu and small fries, and still be within the 400 calories. Try to limit fast-food to once or twice a week, but it's doable! 

For midday snack I usually get the sweet tooth so instead I grab one of those detour bars or any bar s but stay within this parameters :

Less than 250 cal per serving

Less than 9gm of sugar

More than 15 gm of protein

Dinner is more challenging, because it usually involves family and my boyfriend, they don't usually want to eat healthy but guess what?! You will and they won't even have to know!!!! 

Eat what is cooked but less of it!!! Measure it out use an app called my fitness pal! It tells u the calories of everything !!! My goal is 1,400 calories a day, and I usually even a little under or a little over on my bad days! However this is very important!!!! DO NOT TRACK YOU CALORIES LOST INTO YOUR CALORIE INTAKE!!!!!

It's impossible to know how many calories you actually lost, everyone is different!!!

Well good luck! I hope this help someone in the long run, I know my goal still Gastric Bypass and maybe in two years if I have loose skin some tummy tuck, but I'm only 30 and I got high hopes for my youth to help me save some money on that ;P 

Psychological Evaluation

So one of the several steps requirements for the Gastric Bypass is a Psychological Evaluation.  I went yesterday, and I was very nervous. However, once I met with the LPN, she made me feel very comfortable, In fact we were joking and sharing stories. It was great, very relaxing, and painless. In within a few minutes I was clear to proceed with my surgery!... So for anyone out there going through this, Take it from me, it was basically nothing, the hardest part far actually getting there, it was around a 25 minute drive.

Steps Completed!!!!

• ü Informational Meeting – 6/25/13
• ü Support Group – 7/2/13
• ü Follow Up Support Group 8/13/2013
• ü Surgeon consultation 8/12/13
• ü Cardiac Evaluation 8/12/13
• ü Dietician consultation 8/12/2013
• ü Sleep Study 8/2/13
• ü Blood Work 08/12/2013
• ü Insurance approval - 7/12/13
• ü Psychiatrist clearance 8/19/13

Letter of Medical Necessity 8/21/13

Nutrition Class 10/02/2013

Surgery date

Sleep apnea ?!

Well the sleep Center call me today and told me that I tested positive for sleep apnea and is severe. So they schedule me appointment to go try the CPAP mask and machine and I have to stay overnight again. In part this will definitely get me approve as a medical necessity however, it's sad that I'm in this predicament. My mother and brother both suffer from this disease, and they let it get horribly bad. But I am going to do everything in my power to not end up with a trachea tube and in a position that I can't barely move. I met my surgeon already I'm in a supervised diet, I'm walking, I'm potion controlling. I'm doing this. 

Sleep Study

Well I'm here on one of the many steps before the Gastric Bypass Surgery, the sleep study. They at monitoring my sleep, movement and ban activity plus recording me asleep and recording sound. I don't know if its the weird feeling that someone is watching me sleep or all the cables but I am not even thinking of sleep. Well this is normal for me I go in to bed and I won't sleep for 2-3 hours. So I'm writing this.... So the room is hotel like, bed is comfy, temperature is perfect, tv in room, very quite in here, nice and dark room, lots lots of cables hooked all over my body specially my head. There is coffee on the way out and granola bars. Awesome roomy bathrooms. So it's not half bad. Just got to get over carrying all my cables to the bathroom hoping I do t drop the little machine in the toilet.... ;) q

Lost of work...haven't even started!

I started my own diet and I been trying really hard to stick to 1,400 calories a day, it's been very hard but I want to loose 15 pounds before the surgery it's a requirement... However It's been over 3 weeks and I have lost a whopping 3 pounds and gained 1. I sure thought I was going too loose more but nope! Turn out I stay wayyy to hungry all the time I have cut soda candy and other stuff I been eating healthier drinking shakes and what not. I finally got an appointment to meet my surgeon on August 12 ad a Sleep Study on the 2nd. Yay! However I been on vacation for the last 7 days, I have not been tracking my food but I been swimming a lot. I'm nervous about the sleep study. Staying overnight alone with some strangers it's just weird! But let's see, this is an adventure!

Me on vacation!

My weak decision?

Hi, as you might have read, my name is Carmen. I am a mother of two, a 13 year old daughter, and a 9 year old son. Currently after 15 years working I am taking a break to continue my education. I am an EMT, and I am going to school for cosmetology. I been in the retail industry all my life. When I became and EMT, it was one if my great accomplishments, I was very happy. I started to work for a busy system in the City of Syracuse, and I was doing OK. At the end of my 15 hour days, I was in serious pain, but i got up every morning at 4am to go to work and do it all over again. But the pain got worst, i was barely able to stand on my feet less carry a heavy bag with an oxygen tank. I took a medical leave to address my condition. Resulting that I have arthritis on my back and my knees are deteriorating and I have tendinitis on my wrist. Anyone with arthritis now that pain only gets worst and it never gets better, I started taking medications for the pain that wouldn't allow me to drive the ambulance in the state. So I had to extend my leave indefinitely. My neck started to hurt, along with my ankles, and even so I decided to start going to school for cosmetology more standing up and more wrist work, What was I thinking? I figure I need to continue working on something I like doing but I want to make more for my work, and I want to work when I want to ( when not in pain). Anyways Its been a journey I am half way my journey (http://bbgbeauty.blogspot.com). My brother ended up in the hospital, also my mother. My brother had developed sleepanea, a sleeping disorder mostly on obese people. He weight at almost 600 pounds. He had let himself go. He was in the hospital for many months until he was able to get out he now weights around 550. He can barely walk, or breathe he ended up with a tracheal tube for life or until he gets his weight under control.

 

Now my mother is battling her foot to diabetes in the hospital and they ha to amputate all her toes.

I go trough a lot with them and finally get them into my home and they doing a little better. But its far from over, my mom goes again more times to the hospital and still struggling to keep her leg now in top of everything my boyfriend ends up in the emergency room because of his diabetes. I said to my self no more...

I decided I am not going to end up like them, to this date I don't have diabetes, I might be in the border of Sleepanea, I might already have it. I don't have high cholesterol but my blood pressure is very high and I take medications for these.  I talk to them about loosing weight and that we could do it together, they seem reluctant to the idea of eating less and healthier. I guess I am on my own right now. Each person's health is their own decision. My mom is somewhat supportive, she "tried to keep me under control with sweats" and by trying  i mean she waves them in front of me and says resist the temptations! lol .  My boyfriend has gone so far to the info group and support groups in the area for me and have allow me to expend a little extra on healthy foods. We all know that healthy food is more expensive... but thats another topic. So I went to the information group to gather information about the Gastric Bypass Surgery, and I have learn a lot. I also went online to research, and I been to support groups in the area. I filled my paperwork and submitted to the surgeons. I am awaiting a date to start the process. It should be this week. They called me last week but I was missing my doctors referral, which hopefully they faxed today.  I been on a diet on my own so i can gradually start my transition to better eating. Its been hard. I am limited to 1,400 calories a day, witch is not much compared to what I was eating before.  its like torture, to the point that I don't want to leave my room into the world because everything is food, advertised, in commercials, int he internet, on games, in my kitchen, my family and kids, across the street next door, its everywhere, the temptations are all there, its worst than drugs. And for someone that has been big since a child, and never been restricted on what I can eat because my motto was, "I am going to die anyways might as well die happy" Well, i rather die happy but not suffering restricted to a bed or not able to enjoy life. I want to be able to fit in the roller coaster so when my daughter goes in a date I can follow her and get in the same rides as her and her boyfriend. I want to be able to fit on normal clothes and spend $20 less on a shirt. I want to be able to run after my future grand kids, I want to be able to have a snore free sleep, and wake up energized, I don't want to be afraid of a stroke or diabetes. I want to keep all my limbs, I want to be able to work and make money! I want to be able to wash the dishes with less pain on my back and knees, and I want to be able to go back to being a great EMT and live a long healthy life. And more than anything I want to go to my birth country and shove it on their faces that I was able to loose weight and I ams till beautiful as I was before.  So this is why I decided to do the gastric bypass. Even thou a lot of people say you can do it without the surgery, I might... but YES i am opting for the easier way, where I will have less chance of failure. Once my stomach is smaller, I will able to be full with less food thus being different from now, that I eat less but i am still hungry.  And I don't care if people don't agree with me on doing this surgery, it my decision, and if I am weak for doing it, so be it. 

Pre-Operation: Currently I weight 280 pounds I lost 3 pounds in 2 weeks.  Here are some of my current pics, They are gross, but I want you to have an idea of the real situation and have a visual concept of my progress.

here I have a wig on! lol